WHO AM I?

EBB & FLOW

After not blogging for what feels like years. I'm back...do I still have any readers??? :)

The past few months had challenged me a lot and were filled with realisations, endings and new beginnings. I realised that the natural flow of my existence is either an abundance of action or (what seems like) tons of inaction...but monumental things are always evolving. Instead of fighting it, I'm now learning how to ride the natural wave of my existance and embracing it. It's all internal at times and cannot be seen but I'm still in constant flux. I've learned a few important life lessons in the past few months. For instance, never doubt your personal faith and beliefs- FAITH is the foundation in hardship, I also learned to surrender to the inner child inside that just wants to play and to of course to detach myself even when it is painful, sometimes crucial.

I'm soaking up my journey like a sponge and feel so minuscule in comparison to the vastness of knowledge to be known...I know that only a fraction can begin to reach my thoughts...but am so grateful to feel awake and renewed, like the phoenix...risen again.

I'm sending out infinite love and blessings

and sharing a mantra (by Lousie Hay) :

Believe it cause it's true, we can regenerate ourselves and start anew at anytime...

over and over again.

THE PAST HAS NO POWER OVER ME

thought of the day

Keep on moving forward no matter what!!!!!

it may not be easy

those you love may hurt and damage you

KEEP GOING!!!!!

blessings of courage to all

In tough times....

This is NOT some new age mumbo jumbo, this is real.

It has brought light to my darkest moments and opened up doors of opportunity to me. The magnificent divine universe that we reside in is so supportive. When you need love, give love, when you need understanding, give understanding and when you need hope, give hope. The universe will support the energy that you are giving out. I have been giving and receiving much love during a challenging time in my life and now there is an abundance of love and support around me where before there was only despair.

When you feel lost

When you feel stuck

When you feel overwhelmed

Confused, depressed, lost and hopeless

GIVE LOVE and a shift will happen

OPEN YOUR HEART to someone in need

& LOVE will be drawn to you like a magnet

Blessings of peace, love and joy

My REAL family VS my fantasy family

Do the Holidays bring up issues for you too? Family issues? Wounds from childhood? Okay, we didn't all grow up in the Huxtable residence. I know that I did not, unless imagination counts :) But it's okay the majority of us did not. Most of us have dealt with divorce, abuse, addictions, illness, abandonment, death and more.

In adult life many of us work to remedy the pains of the past...and we do pretty okay. Then all of a sudden December rolls in and we try to get that old family portrait (you know which one I'm talking about- the Sears horrible fake smile pretty family unit pic) nice and shiny again and guess what? It doesn't work! The image of tidings of comfort and joy gets smacked out of our heads and in comes a cold dose of what family is really about for many of us. CHALLENGE, growth and the human experience. I know that not everyone will be able to relate to this but for some it may touch a cord.

It just came to me, just now...after a lot of bumming it. I mean, I've been wishing for a deeper bond and more love and more understanding. Felt like the "different one" again and also pondered lots about the younger generation, wishing to open them up to new ways of thinking and being. I wished that my divorced parents were friends and silently yearned for a real family dinner with all of us in positive harmony. You know what, it wasn't perfect, but it was better than fantasty- it was REAL. Real is why we are here, not illusion. This doesn't mean that I won't aim for better relationships with my family and in general, but I think that first I need to accept : what is...truly except it. Things were actually pretty great when I look back on the positives and release the sucky parts...actually I could say that I shared some very awesome moments with the kids in my family and let my inner child seriously play. One of my favorite Christmas memories was wrestling on the couch with my 7 year of nephew, then we had a tickle party with my 3 year old neice joining in...oh man, I was a kid again.

So I basically don't have the deepest of wisdom and I'm not an expert on family relations, I just needed to share and to create something I guess...and I wanted to say that if we are grateful for what we have, truly grateful, then we always have enough. Life is not meant to be perfect, understanding and living this can ease a lot of our suffering. When I was a kid, I would dream of being a Huxtable cause they had no problem that could not be solved with a song & dance, theatrical performance or heart to heart talk...then everything would be okay (and all within 30 minutes). But this is real life and I love my crazy family and thank the creator for them.

God bless all of you and your crazy families
All the Best

To err is human, to forgive is divine. FORGIVENESS

Dear blog, I'm sorry for neglecting you...please forgive me :)

Forgiveness.

In the past little while I have been bogged down myself by resentment. I admit it. I felt wrongly treated and I have been wearing this resentment like a heavy coat on my back. I tried to just shake it off, distract myself from the heavy coat on my back and do nice things for myself and do nice things for others etc. Some days the coat was so light that I forgot about it and other days it was cumbersome and made me want to scream. I prayed a lot and I attended to my wounds and tried to be kind and gentle with myself but there was one thing that I did not do: FORGIVE, let go with love and move forward.

I could not wrap my mind around this, am I unable to forgive this particular person? Has this person just caused me too much pain and aggravation over the span of my lifetime that it would be better to just disconnect? Was it a lost cause? Or am I supposed to learn something here? Is this challenge a divine part of my personal journey towards growth and healing?

I decided to just let the universe handle it, I surrendered it to the most high and in doing so all the answers began to flow to me in a natural and gentle stream of insight. Which for me proves that if you need clarity, give your problem to the most high and ask for guidance...whoever or whatever the divine means to you doesn't matter as long as you trust, believe and surrender and IT WILL CLEAR UP. I'm telling you, and I'm reminding myself in telling you cause doubt creeps in when fear and lower energies creep in and sometimes it's good to be reminded.

I asked for guidance on this and I now know that I need to forgive and relate to the pain and suffering of that person. It's not personal, it really isn't. I also need to forgive myself and nurture that little girl who still dwells within who just wants hugs and understanding. I am back to a clearer sense of understanding and I decide to align my energy with LOVE in all instances, good , bad and icky.

I just wanted to share that with you, as well as my blessings of LOVE & LIGHT

With God ALL things are possible.

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans”

John Lennon